The Great Choice

Ok, I guess Turk isn't going to post, so in the interest of keeping our readership (or building one), I'm going to move forward with my point of view on love.

Before going any further, I must add that my point of view on love is greatly influenced by the Bible, and specifically Paul's discourse on love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. Also, I want to apologize because this post does look a bit like I'm tooting my own horn, but the story I tell below is the truth, and I hope it does enlighten some of you.

After my first date with my wife, I couldn't stop smiling, or laughing, or singing in my car on the way home. That night, I thanked God for such an experience simply because I had a great time with a wonderful woman. I even said, "even if she's not the one, thank you so much for this experience, this was the best first date I ever had!" Amazingly enough, we had a second, third, fourth, and so on dates. While we dated, I loved just being around her and loved trying to find ways just to make her smile. I got really creative with it too. I asked a whole bunch of people I know for ideas, and was able to dazzle her with many fun dates.

One night, I was enjoying an ice cold beer after a round of golf outside my apartment. I was soon joined by my next door neighbor, who interestingly enough, grew up in France. She was an odd duck, but I guess no more than anyone else. We quickly struck up a conversation, and I told her about the girl I was dating. I also told her how my fascination with this girl had nothing to do with sex. In fact, sex was the LAST thing on my mind. We hadn't taken that step, and I didn't want to because I knew the consequences of rushing into sex, and didn't want to ruin our relationship. She then asked me, "do you love her?" At first, I didn't answer. I thought for a second. Then she asked me, "what if she told you tomorrow that she didn't want to see you anymore, or that she had found someone else?" I said, "I really really only want to make her smile and be happy, so I would let her go, and respect her wishes." She replied, "You love her, then."

Around this time, I had committed my life to Christ and was reading 1 Corinthians. I got stuck on the "love" chapter. I read how "love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked,does not take into account a wrong suffered,does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;"

I was shocked to see that all of these things are how I felt (and feel) about my soon-to-be-wife.

I have an over-simplified paraphrase of this whole passage: LOVE IS A CHOICE.

Let's examine the passage at hand. Love is patient, kind, and not jealous. Right there we can eliminate the notion that sex = love, or love = sex, or that sex is even love making. In high school, we all (especially me) couldn't fathom this perspective of love. Nobody was patient, if the girl you liked went out with another guy, you hated him (and sometimes her), and you were insanely jealous of whatever guy she was with. That isn't love.

Love does not brag. Do I really need to explain this one, especially to guys?

Love does not seek its own. When I first told my wife that I love her, her response was "what if I don't feel the same way?" My response was, "It doesn't even matter. I just want you to know." The world would have you believe that if your love does not return your love, then you must wither and die most horribly and poetically, tragically alone and smitten by all. That's not how it's supposed to work! Christ commanded us to love one another as he loves us over and over and over again. You can't obey a command that is subject to how you're feeling at the time. Again, this proves that love is a choice, not based on feeling at all!

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. Forgive forgive forgive. End of story.

"does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;" I could hint around this one, but in my mind, this passage speaks to people who have bought into the love scam perpetuated by society. You can read into this comment all you want right now, and trust me, that I'm implying everything you think I am.

"bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails"

Let's examine God's love for us. If God loved us in our society's version of love, then he'd have ditched us all a LONG time ago. Why? Because we have absolutely NOTHING to offer him. Seriously, even if you're an atheist, consider this. Let's say you're an all-powerful God, and your version of love is based on what the object of your love can do for you. Then, let's say you create a species of being in your image, perfect to the last detail. Then, this being rejects you, runs out on you, becomes infatuated with the idea perpetuated by another of your creations who has also rejected your ways, proceeds to destroy themselves and the rest of your created world because of their disobedience, then when you provide for them the Way out thousands of years later to get back in perfect harmony with you, they spurn him, reject him and murder him. Would you love a people like that?

The thing is, God chooses to love us. He chose to send his son to die for us so we can be reconciled to him. Christ chose to step down from Glory, take on all of our human frailty, model a true Godly life, suffer a cruel death made the most cruel death possible by the taking on the punishment of every sin ever committed, past present and future. Then, in the final defeat of death, God CHOSE to raise Christ in victory just so we, his beloved may be able to return to him and fear death no more.

God leaves us with a choice to love him. Could God have created us with the desire to only love him and follow his Word? Yep, He's God, for crying out loud! BUT, what good does it do to force someone to love you? Seriously, can you even fathom that happening? We can't force people to love us, and God won't force people to love Him. We are free to love Him or not, just like we are free to buy into society's "love", or live in God's love.

To be continued.... (watch it, bud)